1. Y’all was a regular element of message so please don’t behave like I’m talking Mandarin when I state they. You’ll know in which I’m from overnight because y’all can appear within two to 5 minutes of me personally encounter a unique individual, as well as faster basically’ve got a few margaritas. As soon as we state, “Everyone y’all,” you are aware shit’s getting big.
2. I am a BBQ snob. Genuine barbeque are served on brown paper with half a loaf of terrible white breads, a vinyl knife, and a roll of papers towels. It is made in a smoker the size of a brand new York town house until this is the greatest, the majority of tender meats you have ever had. That is what barbeque try, very don’t ask us to “a BBQ” and serve myself a hamburger.
3. And a taco snob. Why are tacos — particularly great tacos — so very hard to locate outside Colorado?! Should you want to wow me personally, get a hold of me a bomb-ass taco truck and bring me personally truth be told there for dinner. I am not fancy, i simply need a filling dinner from a spot that knows exactly what actual salsa is actually and will promote myself a choice of tortillas.
4. And especially a breakfast taco snob. Basically remain more than and you also should win my cardiovascular system permanently, make me a breakfast taco each day. I shall DIE. Die.
5. unless you like hot snacks, I’ll probably consider you’re a sissy. Mild salsa cannot are present during my business.
6. My consistent are cutoffs, flip-flops, and a tank top. If we’re doing something in hot weather that isn’t participating in a wedding therefore anticipate me to dress up a lot more than that, your best tell me ahead of time.
7. i’ve ridden ponies, but largely just at summertime camp. With no, that’s not the way we get around home. We push cars using radio turned-up and the air conditioning on great time.
8. I am virtually a
tuber. The most wonderful day of tubing contains a cooler chock-full of break fast tacos, beer, and wine coolers. I’ve a sweet straw cap and water-friendly footwear I wear for tubing and tubing by yourself.
9. I really don’t see structures or cars that do not has central air-con. Really, how will you individuals live?!
10. I have seen an information anchor try to fry an egg on a cooking pan about sidewalk on a hot summer time time. For the reason that it’s how hot it becomes in Tx. Thus you should not tell me you are hot when it’s 87 levels outdoors or i shall have a good laugh in your face.
11. We discovered just how to square dance once. It’s this that we did in PE raising upwards. We secretly wish I however appreciated how to get it done.
12. A margarita are my personal beverage. I will severely query your for your own without sodium.
13. There clearly was a dirty pair of cowboy shoes at the back of my personal wardrobe within my parents’ house somewhere. We most likely dressed in them for a dress-up nature day in high-school but normally it really is far too hot to put on any footwear in Texas most of the season.
14. Im from the condition of HEB while the OG full foodstuff. Thus I discover an extremely good grocery store and it is perhaps not an artisanal cheese shop with a few sausages clinging from ceiling. It really is a field with wall space and a roof that may healthy, like, 18 artisanal cheddar stores, a wine shop, and a BBQ takeout countertop.
15. simply because we spent my youth in a location the spot where the senior high school basketball arena appeared as if an expert basketball arena doesn’t mean I want to view basketball to you constantly. Sorry, not sorry.
16. Bluebonnets are in reality the best flower. Nothing sounds spring in Colorado if the bluebonnets bloom and range the roads and appearance positively friggin’ magnificent. Whenever you find a method to create me a bouquet of bluebonnets, I’ll love your permanently.
17. I understand a very great liquid park. It is known as Schlitterbahn, oahu is the finest coolest amount of time in Tx, and it is best theme playground within the planet.
18. Going residence will always be the maximum part of the world to me. As soon as we’re truth be told there, we’re on a tight tacos and BBQ diet plan, and I should not listen to any whining about it. Y’all hear?
Stick to Amy on BHM dating site Twitter and Instagram.